A Courageous Way to Lead

By Ashleigh Bowman

2024-06-02-21_36_32.980-0400.jpg — Current MAOL Student

While my children and husband sleep, I can often be found huddled with only the soft glow of my laptop illuminating the darkness. These are the hours, early morning and late night, when I juggle – graduate coursework, work responsibilities, homelife and motherhood, and my ever-evolving health issues. Working full-time while in graduate school is a challenging task for anyone. Adding the tasks of balancing life as a wife and mother, freelance writer and graphic designer outside of my regular work hours, and living with a chronic illness is a journey that has taught me so much about myself and about my abilities as a leader.

When I enrolled in the Master of Arts in Organizational Leadership program at Harding University, I was only beginning my chronic illness journey. In 2024, I received the diagnosis of a rare genetic connective tissue disorder. This diagnosis was two years in the making and seems to have opened the floodgates of escalating health issues and many more diagnoses. Over the last year, learning to navigate doctor’s appointments, testing, fatigue, overwhelming symptoms, and my schoolwork in my limited free time has been quite a challenge.

As a mom to two elementary-aged children, my mornings are a rush of packing lunches, picking clothes and finding lost shoes that were absolutely by the front door the night before (or so my children claim). Once the kids are dropped off at school, it’s a mad dash to sit in traffic on my 40-minute commute to work. Every moment that passes feels like wasted time, as I try to stay focused on the road while also mentally processing my to-do list for the day. Arrive at work, review my scheduling duties, update any upcoming employee engagement efforts, assist with small projects throughout the office – the list goes on. If chaotic juggling was the primary task of a leader, I dare say I would be at the top of those world leader lists. Of course, in the last year, I have learned that far more goes into leading than simply juggling a mounting to-do list. Far more goes into leadership than standing at the front of the line and issuing demands.

One of many texts that stands out to me from my coursework at Harding is the book Dare to Lead by Brené Brown. Through it, I learned about the power found in a leadership model anchored in courage, vulnerability, and emotional intelligence. Brown introduced me to the profound concept of leading with one’s heart, a concept I had never related to leadership. This idea of a courageous, vulnerable leadership style truly encouraged my own desire to lead. My leadership goals have never been rooted in a desire to dominate and demand; I choose to lead from a deep desire to nurture and guide.

Throughout my career, I have often felt voiceless, confused, or misunderstood. The path to who I wanted to be in my profession often felt foggy, and many times I have felt stuck in a role I did not enjoy or that seemingly lacked significance. My underlying reason for pursuing leadership is to become the person I always felt I needed: someone to guide and assist those who also feel stuck or voiceless in their career journey.

God is showing me how to bravely lead by weaving together my chronic illness, motherhood role, and educational journey. I am learning leadership strategies I did not know were available to me. I am leading in places I never thought to lead. As someone who has struggled, I can easily relate to those who are struggling. As someone who has needed grace, I can easily extend grace to others in need. Many times in my motherhood journey I have felt frozen in doubt or in fear, especially through infertility and infant loss. Now, on the other side, I can use my experience through dark nights of the soul to guide others through their most difficult seasons. Completing the MAOL program feels like I’m finishing the final chapter of a long manuscript, one that needs all of these life experiences to prepare me for my future leadership opportunities.

Learning about a courageous leadership model within the context of the MAOL program at Harding University has ignited a greater passion in me to lead. Whether I will lead in my home, in my career, or during one of my many doctor’s appointments or support groups, I am confident that with the education and support I have received at Harding, I can lead vulnerably, guide courageously, and serve gracefully those along my path.

Ashleigh leads courageously as a Service and Employee Engagement Coordinator for Expedient Technology Solutions in Ohio. She will complete her Master of Arts in Organizational Leadership from Harding University in May.

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A Courageous Way to Lead

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